You need to go for a professional with the right qualifications. Not all counselors have professional training. You should not hesitate to ask all potential counselors about their qualifications. This makes it easy to prove when there are the right documents or through online reference. Other than professional training, their professional experience will also be a key consideration.
Depending on how serious the issues at hand are, you will need a counselor with many years of experience rather than one who has not been in the field for a shorter period of time. One way through which you can ascertain this is via online reviews posted by their previous clients. It is important that a counselor is neutral and unbiased. In some cases, a partner may choose a professional known to them with the hope that they will be on their side.
A professional in this field should never take sides. The principles of neutrality will apply and this should be irrespective of whether they are known to either of the partners. Couples should be able to agree on a counselor that both of them are comfortable with. If there is a previous acquaintance, that needs to be disclosed and discussed before the sessions begin. This way, all parties will have trust in the sessions and the entire process.
The preferred counselor needs to have similar beliefs as you. A counselor must not force into couples their beliefs as they try to sort out issues. Couples are more comfortable when they realize the professional shares in their belief system. This will mostly apply to Christians or couples who have specific religious preferences. For example, should a couple be of the belief that divorce is not acceptable to God, their preferred counselor should share in the same belief.
The sessions should be more about solutions and less about money. Normally, the number of sessions will depend on how grave the issues at hand are. It also depends on willingness of parties and how dedicated they are to solve the problems at hand. The amount payable should be agreed in time and before the sessions start. Some professionals will charge a flat rate while others have a laid down payment structure.
It is important that you and the therapist set some concrete goals early enough. If there are no goals set, you could be meeting weekly without having any clear directions. Once there are set goals, they will form the guideline of the sessions. A future-orientation is the best way to have issues sorted out.
Couples will need to trust their instincts. If a therapist is helping you, it is easy to know. If they are not, you are able to know that too. You should not stick around even when there is no progress.
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