The very nature of modern relationships have changed. In the past sex outside the marriage bond was forbidden. People did not live together before they got married and a child outside of wedlock was a terrible shame. All these taboos are now gone. Women have their own careers and they take charge of their own bodies. They play a more active role in their relationships and sometimes men find this intimidating.
Relationships often fail because one or both partners entered the relationship for the wrong reasons. Some people commit to a relationship purely for regular sex. Others crave financial security or they want to escape from their present domestic circumstances. These are all the wrong reasons. This is just another reason why it is so important to consult a therapist before entering into a relationship.
When a relationship breaks up there is always pain and emotions involved. If the relationship produced children then it is imperative to do everything possible to minimize the trauma caused by the breakup. Seeing a qualified counsellor can help a couple to deal with a separation in an adult, conflict free manner. There are often many decisions that must be made and this is best done with the help of a reputable counsellor.
It is interesting to note that many people in stable, loving relationships also see therapists regularly. They do not necessarily experience problems, but they know that there is always a danger of their relationship becoming stagnant. They see a therapist to keep their relationship satisfying and exciting. The therapist helps them to identify ways in which they can improve on their relationship. It is not surprising to learn that such relationships often last for many years.
Relationships often fail because one or both partners allow small matters to become big problems. They do not address small problems and eventually such problems can accumulate to the extent where they become huge issues. By seeing a therapist they can learn to deal with conflict by means of effective communication and to save their relationships by acting in time.
There are cases when a counsellor will advise a patient to get out of a relationship. This is especially the case if one partner is abusive, dependent upon harmful substances such as alcohol or drugs or if that partner refuses to contribute to the relationship. Not all relationships can be salvaged and sometimes it is best to simply move on before the abusive relationship explodes.
It takes a lot to make a relationship work. Each partner has different needs and expectations. Each partner will have to make some sacrifices. Partners also need to learn how to give each other space and to allow the other partner to be the unique being that he or she is.
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