Tell your kids about your intent to separate. You may think that your children do not notice some things. However, kids are very perspective. In case you and your spouse suddenly begin sleeping separate bedrooms or one of you move out of your home, your children will definitely notice. Tell your spouse about your intent to let the kids know, and work as a team. Let the kids know the truth.
You should never dismiss communication. During the first conversation while the process of divorce unfolds the kids will mostly have so many questions concerning the situation. Ensure that you keep the lines of communication open at all times. You should also be receptive every time your children want to talk about their feelings. In case the kids are not coming to you approach them. Make sure that they are okay.
Offer your child reassurance. Once you tell the kids about your intent to separate, reassure them that despite your marriage coming to an end, you will still be their parents. You should not reassure them once and then stop. Make it an ongoing process. This is because some insecurity may sneak on over time, but you need to let them that your separation has nothing to do with them.
Avoid badmouthing your ex. Speaking negatively about your ex to be can easily undermine the security of your child. The best way to show your kids that you are there for them is by working together, especially on issues of parenting. You may be against the parenting style of your ex, bit you should reproach him or her when your children are not there. Remember that the children love both of you and any wrong done to any of you hurts the kids.
Do not drag your kids into your issues. Avoid treating your child like messengers. Avoid using your kids to manipulate your ex. The aim is to keep the environment for your kids stable as you can. Also, allow your children to grieve. Appreciate that your child will in one way or the other feel the loss.
During the few first months after divorcing, ensure that you observe your children closely. You should ensure that your kids are alright. In case you realize that your children are not okay, consider hiring a therapist to help them. There are numerous therapists who can help your kid get through the changes that come with separating.
Also, do not forget about yourself. Your children will look up to you as their source of strength. You should therefore make sure that you always there for them. Ensure that you are able to cope well with the separation so as to be able to stand in for the children.
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