Self image and self esteem is a huge deal to all guys, women too, but really for guys. Women don't usually need to do much to attract a guy, usually just stand there and look good, maybe carry an air of mystery, and that's enough. For men though, it's tougher than women know. Men usually have no clue how to communicate with the opposite sex and fumble their way through a "conversation", usually screwing it up within the first 2 sentences. This will have an impact on a guy's self esteem. Learning how to communicate with females is an art most men need to actually study and commit to memory in order for it to eventually become a natural thing.
The way a guy look physically really has very little to do with how successful he is with a woman. It's a lot more than that. So hiding behind sports magazines or playing "blind man" in front of the boob-tube watching football or whatever is not going to win you any dates, or experience with women. If you don't get out, you will never find a girlfriend. Period!
The most common mistake that men make is that they go into seduction way too soon. Women find that kind of behavior creepy. Also it makes them understand you don't know what you are doing. Women have a built-in, subconscious and instinctive mechanism for choosing the strongest males of the clan. If you act like and alpha male, looks will be very secondary to attraction.
Okay then. Now that we got that out of the way, let's move on to what you should be doing. First you need to get her attention from across a room. This is not where you pretend you are James Bond and be a suave jerk (because frankly, that's what JB is), because women don't find this attractive at all. No, this is where you use subtleties like body language. This is where you start to behave like a real man, and not the scared little boy you really are (at that moment anyway). Be the alpha male, and she will take notice.
Move around the room and keep up a light chatter with some of the people around you while now and again, looking in her direction. Make eye contact a few times and slowly (not TOO slowly) make your way across to her. Never keep a lady waiting. By now she is more than a little interested in you and is probably wondering who you are (if she hasn't already made a few discreet inquiries already). You may not have her eager to leave the party with you immediately, but you certainly have her attention, which is the entire aim of the game in this case. If you got this far, then well done.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
She should be the one leaning into you to make herself heard, if she is interested and or attracted to you, even on a subconscious level, not you into her. By you leaning towards her every time she speaks, you are doing 2 things. #1 you look insecure and needy and #2 you are invading her personal space. Both are extreme no-no's. She will be turned off by your behaving needy and she will be annoyed or creeped out by you constantly hovering over her.
After a few minutes of conversation, touch her shoulder or hand for a few seconds. Be deliberate about it but keep the touch light and without moving around. Keep touching her every few minutes for a few seconds but keep the touch "buddy style" until sexuality is injected. Here it is important to heighten her emotionally and to relate on that level, so get her to talk about anything that made her feel happy, sad or embarrassed.
Watch her mouth when she is talking. Don't stare though because this is again stepping into creep territory. This next part should be a breeze for all guys, so at this stage of the game, if she has not made some excuse to leave or abruptly shut down the conversation and moved on, you are on the right track so, this is where you start to think of things (preferably about her) that arouse you. This will ever so slightly change your body language and interestingly your pheromones, which she will be perceptive to without even knowing it. It will slightly alter the timber of your voice and hers will change as well. Unconsciously she will be pretty much ready for you to sweep her off her feet and make her fantasies come true.
From there onwards things can go really fast!
The way a guy look physically really has very little to do with how successful he is with a woman. It's a lot more than that. So hiding behind sports magazines or playing "blind man" in front of the boob-tube watching football or whatever is not going to win you any dates, or experience with women. If you don't get out, you will never find a girlfriend. Period!
The most common mistake that men make is that they go into seduction way too soon. Women find that kind of behavior creepy. Also it makes them understand you don't know what you are doing. Women have a built-in, subconscious and instinctive mechanism for choosing the strongest males of the clan. If you act like and alpha male, looks will be very secondary to attraction.
Okay then. Now that we got that out of the way, let's move on to what you should be doing. First you need to get her attention from across a room. This is not where you pretend you are James Bond and be a suave jerk (because frankly, that's what JB is), because women don't find this attractive at all. No, this is where you use subtleties like body language. This is where you start to behave like a real man, and not the scared little boy you really are (at that moment anyway). Be the alpha male, and she will take notice.
Move around the room and keep up a light chatter with some of the people around you while now and again, looking in her direction. Make eye contact a few times and slowly (not TOO slowly) make your way across to her. Never keep a lady waiting. By now she is more than a little interested in you and is probably wondering who you are (if she hasn't already made a few discreet inquiries already). You may not have her eager to leave the party with you immediately, but you certainly have her attention, which is the entire aim of the game in this case. If you got this far, then well done.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
She should be the one leaning into you to make herself heard, if she is interested and or attracted to you, even on a subconscious level, not you into her. By you leaning towards her every time she speaks, you are doing 2 things. #1 you look insecure and needy and #2 you are invading her personal space. Both are extreme no-no's. She will be turned off by your behaving needy and she will be annoyed or creeped out by you constantly hovering over her.
After a few minutes of conversation, touch her shoulder or hand for a few seconds. Be deliberate about it but keep the touch light and without moving around. Keep touching her every few minutes for a few seconds but keep the touch "buddy style" until sexuality is injected. Here it is important to heighten her emotionally and to relate on that level, so get her to talk about anything that made her feel happy, sad or embarrassed.
Watch her mouth when she is talking. Don't stare though because this is again stepping into creep territory. This next part should be a breeze for all guys, so at this stage of the game, if she has not made some excuse to leave or abruptly shut down the conversation and moved on, you are on the right track so, this is where you start to think of things (preferably about her) that arouse you. This will ever so slightly change your body language and interestingly your pheromones, which she will be perceptive to without even knowing it. It will slightly alter the timber of your voice and hers will change as well. Unconsciously she will be pretty much ready for you to sweep her off her feet and make her fantasies come true.
From there onwards things can go really fast!
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