Are you frustrated with your attempts to try to get back together with your ex? Do well meaning conversations turn into battles where you are constantly trying to defend yourself? Are your words and actions taken out of context by your ex and used against you? Do you feel like your ex is living in a totally different reality and you feel like you simply can't win? How can you straighten things out and get back to that loving relationship that you both once shared? How can you turn things around and make your ex see that you truly love them with all your heart?
First, you need to stop trying so hard to get your ex girlfriend back. By chasing after her and trying to talk to her or change her mind you're only making matters worse. There is a basic rule in relationships that the more you chase after someone, the more they run away from you. The more you want to win her over the more resistant she is going to be to this idea. Respect her decision for the moment and understand that the more you push, the more she's going to run away from you. The more you try to convince her to give your relationship a second chance, the more she's going to want to date someone else.
Think of your ex girlfriend like a cat. If you chase after a cat, what is it going to do? The cat will run away. This is what makes herding cats so difficult! The same goes for many animals. If you chase after them, they will flee or fight. This is called the fight or flight instinct. It is a part of our own instinct also and it transcends relationships also.
On the other hand, if you want a cat to come to you, your best bet is to sit very still. Especially if you have been chasing after a cat, the best thing that you can do is to sit on the floor, not make any movements and get the cat interested in you. Maybe you have a toy or some food or you make some very quiet pleasant sounds that the cat likes.
It is only once your ex has a desire or even an inkling of a desire to spend time with you and talk with you that things will begin to change. Creating that desire is rather simple
There is nothing that you can say to him right now that's going to make a bit of difference. No amount of logic is going to make him want to be a part of your life. He is throwing a tantrum and he's not thinking logically. He will calm down all on his own and if your life and what you are doing is interesting he will want to be a part of it.
Take advantage of this time apart and while you're waiting for time to do its healing thing, begin to create a life that will be attractive to your ex. Start doing things that you think that your ex might want to do. Even little things like going somewhere during the weekend or making some changes to your house are enough to get their interest. Start working out or studying something new.
While this is only a rough outline of a successful plan to get your ex girlfriend back, it does require nerves of steel. There will be times when you will want to reach out to her. You'll want to hear her voice or see her face. You'll want to try things the old fashioned way but you need to resist that temptation. Think of the big picture and the long haul. Remember, you might only get one more chance at a second chance with her so you have to make this one count and playing off of her female psychology and her emotional hot buttons is the way to go if you want to get back together with her.
First, you need to stop trying so hard to get your ex girlfriend back. By chasing after her and trying to talk to her or change her mind you're only making matters worse. There is a basic rule in relationships that the more you chase after someone, the more they run away from you. The more you want to win her over the more resistant she is going to be to this idea. Respect her decision for the moment and understand that the more you push, the more she's going to run away from you. The more you try to convince her to give your relationship a second chance, the more she's going to want to date someone else.
Think of your ex girlfriend like a cat. If you chase after a cat, what is it going to do? The cat will run away. This is what makes herding cats so difficult! The same goes for many animals. If you chase after them, they will flee or fight. This is called the fight or flight instinct. It is a part of our own instinct also and it transcends relationships also.
On the other hand, if you want a cat to come to you, your best bet is to sit very still. Especially if you have been chasing after a cat, the best thing that you can do is to sit on the floor, not make any movements and get the cat interested in you. Maybe you have a toy or some food or you make some very quiet pleasant sounds that the cat likes.
It is only once your ex has a desire or even an inkling of a desire to spend time with you and talk with you that things will begin to change. Creating that desire is rather simple
There is nothing that you can say to him right now that's going to make a bit of difference. No amount of logic is going to make him want to be a part of your life. He is throwing a tantrum and he's not thinking logically. He will calm down all on his own and if your life and what you are doing is interesting he will want to be a part of it.
Take advantage of this time apart and while you're waiting for time to do its healing thing, begin to create a life that will be attractive to your ex. Start doing things that you think that your ex might want to do. Even little things like going somewhere during the weekend or making some changes to your house are enough to get their interest. Start working out or studying something new.
While this is only a rough outline of a successful plan to get your ex girlfriend back, it does require nerves of steel. There will be times when you will want to reach out to her. You'll want to hear her voice or see her face. You'll want to try things the old fashioned way but you need to resist that temptation. Think of the big picture and the long haul. Remember, you might only get one more chance at a second chance with her so you have to make this one count and playing off of her female psychology and her emotional hot buttons is the way to go if you want to get back together with her.
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