Well publicized cases have shown that divorce can become ugly and vicious. These are cases where the divorcing couple cannot come to some private agreement on the terms of their separation. In these cases they hire lawyers to represent them and to negotiate on their behalf. The cost of these cases quickly rocket and all the records are available to anyone interested enough to peruse them.
Reasonable couples realize that they have nothing to win by fighting their battle in open court. They discuss matters and they negotiate a separation agreement by making compromises and by being willing to settle matters amicably. In these cases only one lawyer needs to be hired and his job is to draw up the settlement agreement and get to be made an order of the court. This is a much cheaper route.
Sensible couples realize that there is absolutely nothing to gain by washing their private laundry in an open court and ruining themselves financially in the process. They discuss all the issues involved in an adult manner and they are willing to compromise until they have reached an agreement acceptable to both of them. In such cases only one lawyer is required and his main task is to draw up the final legal settlement.
Many people think that one has to have a lawyer when getting divorced. This is not the case at all. It is also possible to hire the services of a counselor that is licensed to handle divorce negotiations and to draw up the final document. These counselors charge only a fraction of what lawyers do. These counselors can only be used in uncontested cases, however.
In many cases, contested divorces are all about the children. The parents cannot agree on custody and support matters and in the process the children sometimes become weapons. The law clearly states that the interests of the children should always be the highest priority and it is neither ethical nor fair to use them in an inappropriate way. Many children suffer terrible trauma in the process.
It is lamentable to so many marriages fail, tearing families apart in the process. There are instances, however, when it is better to get out of a destructive marriage. If one of the partners abuse substances and refuse to obtain help, for example, or if one of the partners are sexually, emotionally or physically abusive, it is definitely best to get out of that situation.
Making it more difficult to obtain divorces, as some people advocate, will not necessarily lower the divorce rate. As it is, numerous couples live together without bothering to get married in the first place. Social experts agree, however, that couples should be more circumspect before they get married in the first place.
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