First, you're never going to be able to convince your ex girlfriend or your wife to come back to you. Breaking up with you was her decision and she is going to have to think that getting back together is her decision also. Respect her decision to leave you.
You can never really win an argument with a woman and even if you win, you've lost. Hounding her and wanting to discuss what went wrong and how you think the relationship can be fixed only shows that you don't respect her decision. When the time comes and she decides that she wants to get back together, you'll respect that decision, correct?
When that doesn't work, you may have tried some variations of this technique. You tried being super nice to her or you bought her gifts. You may have even told her that you had bought these gifts before you broke up but you wanted her to have these things. You may have even begged or cried and pleaded with her to have mercy upon your soul and asked her to give you another chance. You told her that you loved her and that she was the most important person in your life.
Crying is always a good way to process pain and sorrow. Even though you want to remain hopeful that you and your man can get back together, you want to cry sometimes. Crying is very therapudic and often crying until you just can't cry any longer will make you feel refreshed and new again. Put a limit on the amount of time you spend crying, though. Allowing self-pity to run your life might be very tempting at times so, taking a day off of work and just allowing yourself to cry for that day may help. Look at photos of the two of you together. Listen to music that reminds you of him or watch movies that make you cry. Let it all out and just cry until you are done.
On the other hand, be on the lookout for requests for help when she does begin to feel something for you again. Often a woman won't come right out and say that she misses you or that she is thinking about you after a breakup. She might find a lame excuse to call you for advice or ask for your help with something. Don't allow yourself to be used, of course, but look for these openings as a sign that she is beginning to miss you.
A real plan to get your girlfriend back should be based upon female psychology and what a woman needs to feel in order to overcome the biggest hurdle that confronts you right now which is the fact that she broke up with you. She has told all of her friends and family that she is done with you. That is going to be a big obstacle to overcome so you're going to have to speak to her emotions. Her decision is going to have to be an emotional one. She is going to have to want you more than she might be embarassed to tell everyone that she is getting back together with you.
Remember that your ex girlfriend or your wife was your best friend at one point in your life. They were and are someone special that you picked out of all the women in the world. Treat her with respect but be willing to fight for your relationship. You wouldn't turn your back on a best friend. Don't give up on your girlfriend or your wife. Women value loyalty. It might require that you be a little devious or clever in your tactics but if she was in love with you before it is absolutely possible for her to fall in love with you again. The decision is yours to make but if your wife or your girlfriend was your best friend in the world, don't you think that a little patience and understanding what she needs to feel to fall in love again is in order?
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