There are many reasons couples might seek the help of a professional. In some cases it is simply that they are not used to co-habitating and they need a mediator to help them learn how to compromise and communicate. In other cases the situation may be more serious. One partner might have committed adultery, have a drug or alcohol addiction, or is struggling with depression. Couples may also need guidance if one person is withholding sexually from the other.
Communication is usually the most underlying factor in a struggling relationship. When a couple does not know how to speak to each other in a way that is productive and healthy, it can lead to destruction, and in some cases divorce.
Childhood often plays an important part in teaching an individual how to communicate and behave in various situations. The experience that we bring with us into a relationship can be damaging if they do not match the communication of ones partner. A person who grew up in an unhealthy environment might learn that fighting is the only method of communication, whereas a person who was taught to talk out problems brings a healthier approach.
Without knowing oneself it can be difficult to effectively communicate with someone else. This is where a trained therapist can be useful. This professional will act as an impartial mediator. He or she will not offer opinion, but instead will listen and help guide the couple to a place of mutual contentment. Each participant must be open to understanding themselves as well as understanding their spouse.
Because the therapist's role is to guide the couple to happiness, this professional will sometimes challenge the couple to open their eyes to their own behaviors that might have lead to conflict within the relationship. Although in some cases one spouse will take on the majority of the responsibility, it is also important to understand that the other partner might have played a contributing role in the behavior.
A therapist will usually hold a masters degree or higher from an accredited institution. Trained in human behavior, this professional will help their clients understand how their thoughts might lead to their behavior choices. In many cases, the therapist has a specialist in the field of couples therapy.
Individuals who seek this kind of help must be willing to answer difficult questions and face their own fears and damaging behavior. Therapy is an excellent resource for struggling couples. However, counseling is only as effective as its participants. Therefore, the couple must do the work necessary to create a happy life together. The benefit of counseling far outweighs the costs if the couple is open to the experience.
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