Couples must accept the fact that a contested separation can become a messy and expensive affair. Each party will have to hire a lawyer and legal cost escalate very quickly when the lawyers need to appear in court. A contested separation is not a private matter. Everything said in court is open for public scrutiny and there is always a chance that the details of the separation will be published.
Even when a separation takes place in the most amicable manner it is still advisable to hire a professional to mediate and to finally draw up the separation agreement. The laws governing marriages are complex and most people are not fully aware of their rights and responsibilities. The mediator will lead both parties through all the issues where decisions need to be made and agreement achieved.
Many lawyers focus solely on divorces. If the separation is not contested, only one lawyer needs to be employed. However, hiring a lawyer is not the only option. Separating couples can also opt to hire a counsellor that is licensed to act as mediator in these cases. Their services are normally much more affordable and in many cases they also act as therapist during the mediation process.
The vast majority of separations can be managed by means of mediation but this can only happen if both parties agree to be reasonable. In some cases mediation simply cannot work. This may be the case when the separation was caused due to violence, abuse or any other traumatic event. In such cases the best course of action is to go ahead and contest the matter in court.
If separating couples are sensible and civil they can do much to lower the costs and to speed up the process. This can be done by listing all the various decisions that need to be made and to discuss them in private, before hiring a mediator. If they can reach agreement on most of the major issues the mediator will be able to complete the process that much sooner.
Once the mediation process is complete the mediator will present the parties with a comprehensive agreement. If they agree to all it contains, the agreement can be presented to a court. This is done in private and the couple do not even have to appear in person. The agreement is turned into a court order and the divorce is granted.
If there is no chance that a marriage can be saved, the next best thing is to try and make sure that the union is dissolved in a civilized manner. A qualified and experienced mediator can play a very important role in this process. Contesting such a matter in court is not only expensive, but it can be humiliating too.
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