In America it is a normal thing to ask someone to go on a date with them. The culture in America and just about all over the world all sees this as an important part of life. However, the Arab culture says it brings shame to them, their family and their community. Hollywood has created an image that goes against their religious values. In most of their movies and television shows, single people only go on a date with the intention of having sex at the end of the evening.
Boys in their culture tend to be granted more freedom to do things than girls do. Unfortunately girls tend to be treated differently and are a lot more restricted then boys. This behavior comes across as being sexist towards woman. Many families don't see it as being sexist at all, but it is a way to protect the integrity of their daughter and her reputation.
Hollywood has portrayed dating as a way for young people to engage in premarital sex. These types of relationships are not stable and usually show that people are not totally committed to one person. They hop from one relationship to the next and one bed to the next.
Arab families need to look out for their daughters as an unplanned pregnancy could bring disgrace to their family. Some families don't have a problem with their sons having sex and they supply their sons with condoms. However, when it comes to their daughters wanting to have premarital sex, their parents forbid it.
This type of culture seems to be stricter towards their daughters than towards their sons. If a son had to go to his parents and ask to go to a party, his parents would be happy with it. If a daughter had to go ask if she would be able to attend the same party, her parents would conduct an interrogation first. Her parents would begin with questions like "who will be going with you?", "who are all the people going to this party?" Her parents will give her a list of rules to follow and would tell her to come home early.
Dating in this community isn't an option. Most families feel that their kids need to concentrate on getting their degrees completed and then they are allowed to get married. Starting a new relationship while attending university could cause a huge distraction. They have special family counselors from their community who come around to educate families on what the dangers are when allowing your children to date.
It is their tradition and part of their culture to have arranged marriages. If you engage in other relationships prior to getting married you bring disgrace to your family. When you speak to the younger generations, they feel these traditions are old and everyone should get with the times. You will find that now Middle Eastern- American Dating is increasing and slowing more people are accepting it.
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