Ending on a bad note can be devastating for the couple, especially when there are children involved. Therapy can be very helpful, because this will create a sense of closure. The couple will need to know how it has come to this point where they are going their separate ways. Often, people can become angry and confused not knowing how why they are getting divorced.
As a result, they will have problems of their own as they grow up. Part of this has to do with shame and guilt. They often blame themselves and this will affect their own relationships. This is why it is important that the divorce is handled properly initially. Parents need to talk to their kids so that they realize that none of this is their fault.
Counseling is extremely necessary for everyone concerned. There are practical reasons why someone needs to go to therapy as well. It is no point in just saying sorry and moving on with your life. The couple will need to talk about how they feeling and what led up to the affair. There may be a lot of other feelings which led up to this in the first place.
Children often need to go to therapy separately. They don't always like to talk in front of their parents. Therapists know how to manage a child who is going through something like this. If a child is not given this type of counseling, they often grow up feeling that this is their fault. They think feel ashamed and it can affect them in their adult years as well.
It can be a traumatic time for a child, especially when the divorce does not go smoothly. They won't understand why parents suddenly change their behaviour for one another. They may struggle at school and become stressed. Isolation can occur. A change in behaviour will also occur, such as with anger and blame.
Most of the time, a family will struggle in relationships because of a breakdown in communication. Therapists see this time and time again. Spouses have different ways of expressing themselves. It can relate to the way in which one bottles up their feelings to people who react without thinking about what they are saying.
A couple may also have practical concerns. It can especially affect people who have to move some distance apart. There are concerns because of the amount of time kids will spend with parents. This can cause tension and it is something to discuss so it doesn't turn into a problem which can cause trauma for the children. One must remember that the children should come first.
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