Right after the wedding the couple will have a time of pure bliss. Eventually, they may begin to find fault with some of the partners habits. At some point they might try to change some of those habits. When there are a number of bad habits that aggravate one of them, it can turn into resentment. However, they can be resolved.
A couple might be seen together for the first therapy session. It allows the counselor to evaluate the interaction between them. A lot can be determined through body language alone. One or the other might do all the talking. One may wish they did not have to be sitting there.
In many cases only one spouse is interested in saving the marriage. In fact, one may have asked for a divorce. That makes it much more of a challenge to restore a happy relationship that once existed. Sometimes it is only that one partner who shows up for the counseling session. There is still some advantage. One may take the first step in restoring the marriage.
===========No single person can participate in the conflict and the problems cannot all be attributed to one partner or the other. Many of the conflicts arise because of different backgrounds or a lack of trust. There is no end to the possibilities. Realistic expectations of the marriage can be at fault. Once the reason is pinpointed, something can be started to change the troubled relationship.
The problem may relate to sex or finances. They might disagree in the frequency of sexual relations. One may want intimacy every day and the other satisfied with once a month. Maybe they can agree to a compromise. Maybe every two weeks would be a good alternative.
Often the sex life they shared for the first three years has gotten to the point of being routine. One of the partners might even consider it tedious. They may need to try some new foreplay or new practice. It should be something they are both willing to try. Forcing someone to participate in a distasteful act will only lead to resentment.
One of them may be cautious about wasting money. The other may see no need to do so and spend freely. This would naturally cause some disagreement. Both should give in a little to come to an agreement about how much disposable income is available. They can each be satisfied with such an agreement.
The counselor can help lead them through a discussion, without the usual anger intervening. Perhaps they can each bend a little to comply with each others wishes. The therapist can clarify the situation and help them understand it.
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