You can still attend a Jew funeral in support of a dear friend. Your presence will be the best gift you can offer and hence it is unnecessary to say anything to the mourners. In case they engage you, simply offer your condolences and do not say more that is truly necessary.
When choosing your dress code, you can settle for a smart casual outfit. Make sure your footwear is sensible, especially if you will be visiting the graveside. It is also ideal to get to the funeral at least 30 minutes ahead of time to offer your condolences. According to the Jewish tradition, the family directly leaves the chapel for the cemetery or the cemetery to their homes. You do not want to be that person holding them up after the service.
As people wait for the service to begin in the chapel, they can sit down and talk in low tones. Everything happens in low key and you should talk quietly even if you find your pals there. Another polite thing to do is avoid fiddling with your phone and turn it off once the service begins.
Your presence alone means everything so you can just sit and listen. The person conducting prayers and psalms will have been chosen ahead of time as well as the person reading the eulogy. Once the stories of the deceased rabbi are shared, you can expect moments of laughter even in the heart of the somberness of saying goodbye to a beloved soul.
When saying goodbye to a rabbi, the service will in most cases take place inside the chapel. You therefore do not have to be in attendance during the graveside ceremony. It will only take ten minutes or less and the few chairs available are meant for the morning relatives.
Jews host a Shiva about seven days after a funeral. This takes place at the home of the deceased and attending will again be a kind thing to do. It is okay to arrive, shake hands with the morning family and leave. It is also kind to bring some food as long as you avoid items that are not allowed by the Jewish laws.
The Jews laws command followers to be good when they breath. You may hence not hear talks about the afterlife. Consequently, do not raise such topics. It also pays to understand that you may not see a lot of flowers in rabbi funerals and if you need to make a kind gesture, you could make a donation in the honor of the deceased.
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