For a relationship to remain healthy and last, it is important that there be good communication skills for couples that are used in order to strengthen it and allow it to blossom. Being able to communicate well takes more than just talk and listening. It also means each person needs to have a good attitude towards everything otherwise it can lead to hurt emotions and struggles between one another which can even lead to the end of the relationship.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Before a person sends a complaint to someone it is always a good idea to ask when it would be a good time to have a discussion about a current concern they have. If the present time is not good then politely ask when there would be a better time. Understand you are going to want your spouse or partner to listen to you with patience and they are not going to do so if they have other things on their mind or on their schedule to do.
Once you do have their attention you need to make sure you do not bring an entire laundry list of complaints with you. Stick with one concern and one concern only. Bringing up a huge list of issues is not going to get you anywhere.
You need to stay focused on the true feelings. Your partner needs to be able to see exactly how you are affected emotionally. A good example of this might be a concern about them never calling when they are going to be late. You really do not want to say You never call when you are going to be late and that really makes me feel like you are inconsiderate and do not care about my feelings. A better way of focusing on your feelings is to say When you do not call me when you plan on being late I really get worried about you.
Another thing to remember is that your goal is to be heard without making them feel like you are trying to make them fix the problem right then and there. Making them feel pressured is like you are demanding that they come up with an immediate solution. Allow them the chance to think about the things you have said. This will often get them to easily offer suggestions for solutions.
Listening is key when it comes to communicating. It is important to truly listen without going on the defense. When either side gets defensive communication is just going to stall. If you happen to be the one that is getting the complaint, listen intently and realize that the art of communication is never about right or wrong but coming to a true understanding of each other and how you feel.
The key to good communication skills for couples is their willingness to let each partner speak while the other one listens. No one likes to be interrupted especially if they need their feelings to be heard.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Before a person sends a complaint to someone it is always a good idea to ask when it would be a good time to have a discussion about a current concern they have. If the present time is not good then politely ask when there would be a better time. Understand you are going to want your spouse or partner to listen to you with patience and they are not going to do so if they have other things on their mind or on their schedule to do.
Once you do have their attention you need to make sure you do not bring an entire laundry list of complaints with you. Stick with one concern and one concern only. Bringing up a huge list of issues is not going to get you anywhere.
You need to stay focused on the true feelings. Your partner needs to be able to see exactly how you are affected emotionally. A good example of this might be a concern about them never calling when they are going to be late. You really do not want to say You never call when you are going to be late and that really makes me feel like you are inconsiderate and do not care about my feelings. A better way of focusing on your feelings is to say When you do not call me when you plan on being late I really get worried about you.
Another thing to remember is that your goal is to be heard without making them feel like you are trying to make them fix the problem right then and there. Making them feel pressured is like you are demanding that they come up with an immediate solution. Allow them the chance to think about the things you have said. This will often get them to easily offer suggestions for solutions.
Listening is key when it comes to communicating. It is important to truly listen without going on the defense. When either side gets defensive communication is just going to stall. If you happen to be the one that is getting the complaint, listen intently and realize that the art of communication is never about right or wrong but coming to a true understanding of each other and how you feel.
The key to good communication skills for couples is their willingness to let each partner speak while the other one listens. No one likes to be interrupted especially if they need their feelings to be heard.
About the Author:
You can visit the website howelldynamics.net for more helpful information about Good Communication Skills For Couples Strengthens Relationships
No comments:
Post a Comment