Communication is a two way process which includes delivering and receiving the message. Thus, an effective communication in a relationship does not only include the way you speak with your partner, but how you listen in the process.
In marriage counseling, couples are told to listen to one another to deepen their connection and get over long-standing problems. It can also help people understand the anger brought up by mistakes in the past.
Many people are good in talking, particularly when they are upset at somebody. They even go over the lines that they're going to say, mostly hurtful words, so they feel much better afterwards. The problem is that it doesn't make you feel good. It only scars your relationship and that makes more problems in the future. You have to understand that listening, and it is not talking, is the most crucial part of communication.
How You Can Develop Your Listening Skill As A Husband And Wife
Listening to your partner is by far, one of the most ignored skills in having a good relationship. Most people are just too distracted of other things that are not really part of the issue, or problem, that couples have. This is the reason why this skill is developed in marriage counseling programs.
Remembering these things is going to help you develop your listening skill:
* Until somebody listens and understands, it's impossible to resolve an issue.
Have you ever said "Listen to me!" to your partner, in marriage counseling or a normal day at home, but what you really meant is this - "You have to agree with me!"? Always remember that listening is, simply, just hearing and understanding what the two of you are trying to say to each other, nothing else.
* Agreeing or obeying is not the same as listening.
Have you ever said "Listen to me!" to your partner, in marriage counseling or a normal day at home, but what you really meant is this - "You have to agree with me!"? Always remember that listening is, simply, just hearing and understanding what the two of you are trying to say to each other, nothing else.
* Everyone believes that their own opinions and feelings are right.
You argue with your partner because you believe you are right and the other is wrong. The other person does the same thing which never resolves the issue if you don't listen. Listening helps you understand the reality of the opinions and feelings of your partner. Give your partner the chance to explain what they believe happened.
* Pain or fear results to anger.
Marriage counseling programs say that when listening to your partner, keep in mind that anger is the result of pain or fear. Before being defensive and coming back at your partner with anger, know why your partner is hurt or scared. This way, you can have more compassion in listening.
* Your connection as a couple deepens when you listen to each other.
Marriage counseling programs encourage listening not just because they resolve issues, but they deepen the connection between the couple. With the better understanding of your partner through listening, you could keep the marriage away from problems you normally had before.
In marriage counseling, couples are told to listen to one another to deepen their connection and get over long-standing problems. It can also help people understand the anger brought up by mistakes in the past.
Many people are good in talking, particularly when they are upset at somebody. They even go over the lines that they're going to say, mostly hurtful words, so they feel much better afterwards. The problem is that it doesn't make you feel good. It only scars your relationship and that makes more problems in the future. You have to understand that listening, and it is not talking, is the most crucial part of communication.
How You Can Develop Your Listening Skill As A Husband And Wife
Listening to your partner is by far, one of the most ignored skills in having a good relationship. Most people are just too distracted of other things that are not really part of the issue, or problem, that couples have. This is the reason why this skill is developed in marriage counseling programs.
Remembering these things is going to help you develop your listening skill:
* Until somebody listens and understands, it's impossible to resolve an issue.
Have you ever said "Listen to me!" to your partner, in marriage counseling or a normal day at home, but what you really meant is this - "You have to agree with me!"? Always remember that listening is, simply, just hearing and understanding what the two of you are trying to say to each other, nothing else.
* Agreeing or obeying is not the same as listening.
Have you ever said "Listen to me!" to your partner, in marriage counseling or a normal day at home, but what you really meant is this - "You have to agree with me!"? Always remember that listening is, simply, just hearing and understanding what the two of you are trying to say to each other, nothing else.
* Everyone believes that their own opinions and feelings are right.
You argue with your partner because you believe you are right and the other is wrong. The other person does the same thing which never resolves the issue if you don't listen. Listening helps you understand the reality of the opinions and feelings of your partner. Give your partner the chance to explain what they believe happened.
* Pain or fear results to anger.
Marriage counseling programs say that when listening to your partner, keep in mind that anger is the result of pain or fear. Before being defensive and coming back at your partner with anger, know why your partner is hurt or scared. This way, you can have more compassion in listening.
* Your connection as a couple deepens when you listen to each other.
Marriage counseling programs encourage listening not just because they resolve issues, but they deepen the connection between the couple. With the better understanding of your partner through listening, you could keep the marriage away from problems you normally had before.
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