It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
A lot of men will resort to compliments when they don't know what to say or they are trying too hard to telegraph their attraction to a woman and the problem with that is, you really aren't saying much at all when you do that. You have to be able to speak about things other than telling her that she is attractive because otherwise, you are not going to stand out and make that lasting impression on her that you need to. Trust me, if you think she looks good, so do LOTS of other guys. So, she has heard all of those compliments before.
When someone seems nervous, or when they seem down, it makes talking to them a lot more difficult. When they are nervous, you can easily find that nervous feeling contagious and if you don't like that feeling, which most of us don't - it's going to make you want to get away. Happens a lot to women when they talk to really nervous guys.
They just want to get away. Someone who seems down is just going to drag you down, so again, it is just going to make you want to get away. However, if you have a lot of POSITIVE energy - now that is enticing and addicting and contagious as well. Only, this is the kind of energy that is going to make her want to stay around you.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
Being able to talk to a woman is one of the skills that you need to have if you are going to become successful at attracting women and getting dates. Not having that skill is something that will keep you from having the kinds of results that you'd like to have. For some reason, a lot of men don't focus that much on improving their ability to talk to women and that is why they end up not having the kind of personal life that they would like to have.
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
If you walked up to a little kid and started talking to them would you be thinking any of these things? What about walking up to a friend? What about walking up to a 70 year old women? In your mind you view these things a harmless. You view them as having equal or less social value than you do, so it's far easier to approach them and start a conversation. Yet, if you see a very good-looking woman, your tongue gets tied up and your mind begins playing tricks on you.
It really is all in your head. Talking to women is as easy as talking to a kid, your friend, or that nice senior citizen. Once I stopped buying into some of societies ridiculous beliefs, such as a really attractive person is better than someone who is not (who judges this anyway?) or that a stranger can actually reject you, then I started having less fear and taking more action.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. "He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank phone calling.) The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you're trying to memorize. The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it counts - in front of a woman.By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
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