A husband or wife should be the closest relationship in the world and a source of strength and comfort. Two people have fallen in love, got married and committed to spend the rest of their lives together. At first things usually go well, but as the years progress and problems arise, the couple can often find themselves facing many challenges. Every marriage will go through difficult times, it is how the couple work together that is the most important factor.
No one sets out to have a bad relationship. Most people who get married are truly in love and care about their spouse. Yet the day to day stress of working, maintaining a home and raising children can all combine to create a lot of anger and frustration. Many problems arise because one partner feels that they are taking too much responsibility or doing too much work. They often develop deep seated resentment towards their spouse.
Many people are very busy working and just stop paying attention to each other. Some couples just grow apart during the busy years of getting a career started or raising a family. Many counsellors can see the issues clearly and try to encourage their clients to see the situation in a new light without blaming each other.
Blame is very hurtful and damaging. A good counsellor will teach their clients to deal with blame in more productive ways. The couple can tell each other how they feel without making accusations or hurtful comments. This allows them to get the issues out of the way and move on. Sometimes one partner has been suffering in silence for many years or months. They eventually feel they can no longer take the stress and want to leave the relationship. Immediate intervention is necessary to save the marriage.
Working with a professional is one of the best ways to understand and address negative behaviors. People are able to really learn about their own feelings and behaviors and learn new more productive ways to interact. Most attitudes are learned in childhood and become quite ingrained by the time person is an adult. It takes a determined effort to learn new ways and only those who are really committed are willing to do the hard work of changing their thoughts and behaviors.
Working with a therapist offers new hope for the future. Many people are so depressed and despondent they have lost their interest in life. Many therapists suggest simple things like getting some exercise or trying a new hobby. This does not have to be done with the spouse. In fact, for some couples developing separate interests is very beneficial.
Marriage counseling Chicago is for couples of any age. It does not matter how old the individuals are, there is usually room for improvement in any marriage. Those who have been married for many years often find they have grown apart and can really benefit from getting closer to each other and rediscovering the qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place.
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